50/60

 50/60 that I won't finish this series. Don't really care.

Old news

 

 ooo

Old wisdom

 If I'd remember how hard it is to do a book, I would never do another.

A2

 Maybe out in August

No-one

 What I'm doing, I'm doing for no-one, not even myself. Starting to feel a bit isolated.

Stuff

 

Clue

 Still no clue of what is this book really. Many things there as a smokescreen only, hiding the actual whatever it is. Noticed again yesterday that I go to great lengths to avoid drawing action. Something in it feels wrong. Action should be played off stage like in a greek play. Maybe I sort of really believe in that.

Second third whatever

 Summer. Schedules all messed up. Been filling in stuff to Ateneum book 2. Almost done, but not quite. Will be doing some color try-outs tomorrow. Then getting started with another page for book 3. Basically book 3 will be on hold for the summer and should actually continue third short story collection. No rush with that one since the second collection not yet published. Maybe 2026.

Cover

 

Bit like this

 

Characters

 I like the characters in this book. Lot of history in each one. Every one like a sort of ice berg. This part I like.

Good bad

 Slowly I've learned to care for these characters. So I guess I will at least conclude book 3. After that not so sure, although some nice stuff coming along in book 4. 

Life in general, disillusioned. Not getting too much joy from things I used to enjoy. Like movies or making food or drawing... sometimes coming across operas or books that make me happy, mozart's idomeneo, iliad, fosse's septology... 

Restless

 Restless 4 so many reasons. Soon time to pick students for the minor subject, Läskimooses US edition finally moving along, several books finished but without funding/publisher, Ateneum 2 final adjustments and colors under way, Ateneum 3 half way drawn, book of essays possible to start but without funding, other book projects half done... 

Care

 Don't care anymore so finally some progress

11th

 Have a book project. In order to succeed I need to fail. So let's see then...

27 yrs

 Been teaching for quite some time and it's only this year I started to feel I can't do this anymore, I have nothing to give. 

But then again I never had. It is not a question of me giving it is a question of the student giving themself. I just have to stay out of the image somehow. 

I guess.

Was

 I was planning that I should write something on comics, mostly teaching but not only that. Pretty sure this is an idea that I will abandon. 

Plan

 -Work on the pictureless book

-only start ateneum3 when u feel like it

-start from some crazy place that makes no sense at all for the story

-maybe get ateneum2 scanned and colored

Should

 Should be cutting the pages for Ateneum 3. Am not.

Less

 Less than enthusiastic to publish any of my unpublished things. I guess I'll wait it out and see how it looks like 2025. Ateneum book 2 is finished, but bringing it out next year is not a good idea. I guess I will continue the series somehow, don't know yet how. Meanwhile, I have other books I can work on, maybe even publish. 

One

 I have couple of projects in mid-air. Will take 3 years that I'm done with them. Now thinking that I will only do one book after them, but one very complex/confusing maybe 2000 pg book. But we'll see.

Fuck, what?

 Teaching gone overboard and well begun book halted. Meanwhile: most recent book out in July and zero response. Universe is trying to tell me smthing or what?

Audition

 Thank u Taike for the 5 years 2020-2024

I managed to

-conclude Läskimooses with the 60 added pages for the book version

-do ground work for Ateneum series

-draw and publish Avaruusvelho

-mini-Läskimooses

-7 vuotta tii petissä

-Suomaan kansan muinaisusko book with added pages

-draw and conclude Vajoava Ateneum book one

-Kekkonen²

-draw Ateneum book 2

-draw Sirkusprinsessa book

-Finish Ruris Futurum

-draw Left 2 rot

-start Säätyttö book

Hope I passed the audition

Estimate

 I estimate third book of short stories could be done by March, I estimate I could start Ateneum 3 with some serious nonsense in January, I estimate Suomaa2 will be a lively mess. But what do I know.

Secret

 Had a plan to write essays on teaching, but realized it is better forgotten and left a secret.

Drawn

B.E.M. 31 drawn

B.E.M. 32 drawn

B.E.M. 33 drawn

B.E.M. 34 drawn

B.E.M. 35 drawn

B.E.M. 36 drawn

Teach

 When I quit, I quit just like that. And will not look back.

Pitch

 Mention "pitch" in my presence and we've done talking.

Aalto university

 Aalto university makes me wanna smoke crack.

Likely

 It is somewhat likely that book 2 will come out year from now. Not much left to do. Book 3 and 4? I'm not sure if there is any POINT. 

Ridiculous

 This whole series, ridicuosly hard to do. All the time I'm waiting when it gets normal and I don't have to think: this is totally wrong, everything is wrong. And I already thought I passed that point. Maybe there is some future turn of events that'll turn things around, but so far... 

Closercloser

 Ok, well. Almost only the few panels I need to arrange a photoshoot are left to do. This is good. Better. Hard to say how different chapters go together eventually. I will be wiser when the first lay out is done.

I have (probably) one month that I can spend NOT doing this project and I have choices:

A. Think of a sideproject I can finish in a month. 

B. Start on the third collection of short stories. Second still unpublished.

C. Draw something just 4 fun. Unlikely.

D. Write something about teaching. Maybe talk with some of my old students.

Etc. Maybe

I feel slightly optimistic of the third Ateneum book. Have couple of choices of where to start. But... it's called the sinking Ateneum for a reason. I think this project will: collapse, unravel itself, break apart... one way or another. Just a HUNCH.

 

Happening

 I don't think my collection of essays on teaching comics will be happening anytime too soon. But if it would, wouldn't SHUT UP YOU LITTLE FUCKS be a fine title? Wouldn't it, though?

Well, it's not the only thing I've lost faith in during the last couple of weeks, but who's keeping score. The "book project" currently on my drawing board hasn't certainly been a fountain of joy, nor youth for that matter. 33 months under my belt and positive feelings and overall trust has been scarce. Reading part two today didn't get my spirits high. Putting this "thing" together won't be an easy task. Well boohoo...

15

 15 months and it's not ok

Really

 You don't really need to know how the story ends.

Read

 Will start reading Ateneum 2 tomorrow. Hard to say how many things to improve. There are actual holes there too, but mostly in images. Slightly optimistic although pretty sure book 3 will be better. 

Better

 I am able to write better, draw better, I should

Book 2

 Book 2 drawn from beginning to the end,next round two of the same

Launch

 

Info

 Book two pretty close to finished. One panel to go. Then one page worth of stuff that require a photosession. Then frontpapers...colors...all that. This is the deal.

Something

 Fall starting. Means classes starting. Students are nice, but what can I teach. Nothing much. That's something. At least.

Joking

 I know you think I'm joking when I'm saying I have 4 books all set for printing but it's the TRUTH and feels like conspitation.

1. B.EM.böle

2. Sirkusprinsessa

3. Go left

4. Nakupelle

Tired

 I don't think I've ever been this tired starting the semester. Not much to do about that.

Book 2

 Book two still needs 5 pages and end papers. Cover is done or almost. Getting back to work a bit complicated, but that's how it goes. 

Book one in quality book stores. It came out pretty ok.

First part is out

 

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Chances are

 Chances are I will not do another book

Half decent

 Ah reckon ah'll do something half decent some time next year.

Slightly

 Slightly optimistic on the Ateneum project. Book one is now at the printer, book two inside pages quite close to being finished. Book three supposedly much easier to do than one and two, but remains to be seen. So I might actually be able to finish the project, even if book one is disliked to the max. Won't go to details but this is easily the most difficult book I've ever done. Happy that I crossed that barrier, what ever it was.